Police released a sketch and video of the man who has been violently raping women in the mission. Please view and see if you can help in any way.
I first heard about these crimes yesterday. There had been one in November and one very recently. Initially I was just bothered, but when I came home last night and thought about it, I ended up in tears. Police state that the crimes have been getting worse.
I don’t know what that’s like. I was the last “victim” of a serial rapist in Orange County. I know traditionally they get more violent – for some reason that’s not what happened in my case. Either way, I was crying last night for these women. These are the moments in which I feel broken. It was bad enough going through what I did, but to witness so many others – it literally breaks my heart.
So what can we do? Well I am proud to live in San Francisco where a candle vigil has already been lit for the women. Officials are trimming trees to improve visibility and there is movement towards more lighting. Neighbors have donated money. These people understand – sexual assault is NOT a women’s issue – it is a community issue. So as a wider community, we can all be aware.
Ladies, be careful at night and please do not walk alone. Everyone, keep your eyes peeled for this face. I can attest to the fact that the only thing more frightening then being raped is knowing that your rapist is still out there and can come and finish the job. Help the police find this man.
Spread the video and sketch far and wide, we never know how much we can help and who may know something.
I have been empowered in many ways during my journey and I have also heard a lot of things. I may not always make sense, or I can be seen as all over the place sometimes. It reminds me of when I was 8 and my mom’s friend asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said “An actress, a model and a singer.” She told me I had to choose one – I boldly disagreed with her. Now, I don’t think there even exists an actress who isn’t also a model and has at least tried to be a singer. The same holds true with me, if I see its connection to preventing violence or restructuring a system that perpetuates violence – I am in. I may be taboo, I may speak, I may throw parties, I may choose to work with people with cancer to empower them, there is some buzz about the possibility of a pole dancing class, I may coach inner city youth, I may be really into academia. What it all means is that I am committed to my cause – ENDING VIOLENCE. Too many things are seen as separate these days, but they all connect. If you subscribe to holistic anything (mind, body and spirit) you can relate to me as a holistic systems thinker. IT IS ALL CONNECTED.
At “We Step Into the Light” I finally allowed all my worlds to connect: the starlight staff, PSI seminars, CIIS alumni, good friends, acquaintances, people from high school and some of my party peeps. As they collided they created this energy, an energy that made my event a complete success. Trying to keep them compartmentalized got me no where the last 5 years – just like I can’t be asked to be specific when doing what I do. The non-profit was purposely named “Create Social Change” to be vague. We didn’t want to be just sexual assault awareness – we wanted to empower everyone.
I wish I had some great fixing of a car analogy to put here – I don’t so I am going to go back to holistic thinking and the body. Western medicine treats symptoms. Eastern medicine treats the cause. And the cause is usually a combination of several different imbalances occurring in the body at any point in time.
The exact same is true in our world. You can’t look at one strand of violence and not look at everything else going on. Is there perhaps a cause that is universal that transcends past just simply the experience of trauma? I know there is – and it comes down to our relationships and experience with trauma. And to be a bit more complicated, its also how we feel our relationships to other people are defined by the experiences or labels that are given to us or self identified. Rich and Yvonne of Challenge Day put it real simple – we just want to be seen for who we are, all of us – the beautiful, the ugly, the taboo, our Dr Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
The point of this post is that you will see a lot of different things coming from myself and Create Social Change in the future. I have spent the past 12 years trying to find the experience connecting people with their trauma AND coming out empowered. Dr. Hazly, created the format – now I will be translating the format to relay that same experience of being seen to people experiencing many different types of trauma.
Some change will happen immediately, those that participated in We Step Into the Light will go out there and be more compassionate and more loving and more understanding of things they don’t understand. But the real change will happen over several generations. The seeds we plant now will be the trees giving out life to our great grandchildren. Those seeds are authenticity, personal responsibility and full embodiment.
So I dare you to be taboo, be bold, have conviction (while remembering that sometimes you may have to help people meet you where you are) and most importantly STEP INTO YOUR LIGHT. Everyone can make a difference.
Last thursday, September 15th, 11 artists, 11 models and upwards of 100 community members gathered for the inaugural San Francisco “We Step Into the Light.” We Step Into the Light paired artists with individuals who have experienced violence. The artist and survivor get to know each other through several interviews from which the artist creates a piece of art depicting the thriving and growth of the model. The event provides an opportunity for healing for everyone involved, and raises awareness about the prevalence of sexual assault. It is intended as a way for a community to better understand and support the thrivers who live among them. Please continue to support us in creating a movement empowering individuals who have experienced trauma.
We have raised half of our goal of $5,000. 1/2 of the proceeds are going back to the artists, the art pieces are going to the models and the other 1/2 of the proceeds go back to Create Social Change to throw more transformative events like this. Further donations can be made here: Create Social Change and are TAX-DEDUCTIBLE!
There is a long list of people we would love to thank for making this event happen:
Leda Olinger Bigalow at Firehorse Salon, for being my co-collaborator and my rock through creating this event from the ground up. Her incredible husband, John Bigalow for his countless hours and patience while we took over their house planning this event.
Flyers by Veronica Christina with Sex + Design. I don’t think anyone else could have so beautifully portrayed this event with a flyer, thank you.
Silent Auction contributors, Peeper + Box photography, Janine Lococo, Stacey Myers, Lisa Weaver, Daune Finke. Your generosity humbles me.
Raffle Prizes, Harry Denton’s Starlight Room, Sir Francis Drake Hotel, Scalas Bistro, Zuni Cafe, Harris Steakhouse, La Boulange, Xapno’s, Homestead, NOJO, LIOCO wine, PSI Seminars.
Volunteers at the event, Sophie Herting, Shereen Dajani, Danielle Moore, Daune Finke, Katrina Corbell, Lisa Weavers, Shannon Jarvis, Malik Ramses, Carson Johns, Scott Taylor, many of you have been with me supporting Create Social Change’s events for years, you are my champions!
Wine and Cocktails supplied by Jen Chen with St. Germain Elderflower Liquor and Jason Pimmental. Jen, thank you for jumping on board last minute – Jason, thank you for supporting every year.
Event Photographers, Ariana Cosmos and Shakti Kennedy, you both captured the event beautifully, I wouldn’t be able to share this with the wider world if it had not been for your incredible artistry.
Dr. Desmonette Hazly, for creating an INCREDIBLE project and generously allowing myself and Create Social Change full autonomy to do this in San Francisco.
Our Models – this project would not exist without your courage, keep challenging yourself to step into the light and be the inspiration for others who have yet to find their own light.
And lastly, our communities for coming out and together to make this event a huge success! By showing up and giving your support we are one step closer to empowering those within our community that have experienced trauma. You made it safe for them to step out into their light. Thank you for your support!
If I forgot anyone, I didn’t mean too, you are truly loved and incredible as well for your support!
Contact: Leda Olinger-Bigelow, Firehorse Salon Phone: 415-310-8505
Email: ledaobigs at gmail [dot] com
RAPE SURVIVORS DEMONSTRATE COURAGE FOR SOCIAL CHANGE
“We Step Into The Light”, An Art Show To Change What It Means To Be A Victim
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIF. – August 29, 2011 – On a mission to end the cycle of violence that leads to brutal crime, social activist Chimine Arfuso will host women and men who have been sexually assaulted, their friends, family, and the larger community on September 15 at Firehorse Salon, 659 Haight Street, from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m.
“We Step Into The Light” is an event produced by Arfuso, her nonprofit Create Social Change, and Leda Olinger-Bigelow, managing partner of Firehorse Salon. It marks the first time some will make a public statement about their experience of being sexually assaulted. It is also the culmination of several interviews with artists who have painted, sculpted or photographed biographies of their models as a part of a transformational process Arfuso calls survivor-to-thriver.
“I knew I had wanted to bring this program to San Francisco and involve the community on a larger scale,” Arfuso said of the movement founded by Dr. Desmonette Hazly, with whom she shares a commitment to championing shifts in language and culture to stop violent behavior in people. Create Social Change will host “We Step Into The Light” in several cities annually, including San Francisco, Los Angeles, Irvine and San Diego.
At 17, Arfuso was raped in her own home. Now 29, she said she has forgiven the man who raped her, even writing him public letters from her blog. She runs several programs to end violence, which is a cycle that often creates a “victim” who in turn becomes violent.
An active speaker in her hometown Irvine, Calif., where the trial of her rape was local headline news, Arfuso was invited to model for Dr. Hazly’s art show at the University of California, Irvine last year. “I figured I was doing my duty in the community and helping them out,” Arfuso explained. “By the time the actual event came around, I realized what an impact participating in the show had on me.”
On September 15 at Firehorse Salon, guests will see works from renowned sculptor Marco Cochrane, advertising and editorial photographer Mitch Tobias, and painter Christine Wolheim, among others. A full 50% of donations collected through a raffle for the works will go to Create Social Change, with the remaining funds split equally among the artists. The art pieces will be given to the models to serve as reminders of their courage to support change. Firehorse Salon will raffle hairstyling and other services to raise money for the cause.
We Step Into the Light pairs artists with individuals who have experienced violence. The artist and survivor get to know each other through several interviews from which the artist creates a piece of art depicting the thriving and growth of the model. The event provides an opportunity for healing for everyone involved, and raises awareness about the prevalence of sexual assault. It is intended as a way for a community to better understand and support the thrivers who live among them.
Create Social Changewas founded with the idea that healing from trauma includes forgiveness of the person who hurt you, and forgiving yourself.It is an educational outreach movement to challenge current beliefs about and reactions to violence that are created by learned behaviors. The mission of Create Social Change is to empower individuals to take responsibility for the choices they make and understand the impact those choices have in their community. www.createsocialchange.org
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If you’d like more information on this topic, or to schedule and interview, please call Leda Olinger-Bigelow at Firehorse Salon at 415-310-8505or email ledaobigs at gmail [dot] com.
To shine light on its unnerving prevalence in our culture, a brave young woman details her experiences with sexual assault and an artist illustrates her story in a painting.
// Coming soon from Tiye Rose Hood
